mom, i love you, maybe don’t read this one please & thank you :)

PSA for this one: 8 pages on word and over 4500 words. talking about something like this will always be difficult, but also kind of nice to finally have my opinion on something like this out there for someone to maybe get validation on.

MAJOR TWs for self-harm, talk of suicide, somewhat detailed/graphic descriptions of self-harm.

songs i listened to while writing this: my body is a cage - arcade fire, 2515 - wasia project

mourning the idea of leaving Sweden in a little over a month. stream of consciousness as always.

songs I listened to while writing: My Body Is Not Mine - Aurora, my angel - Adrianne Lenker, 2515 - Wasia Project

you already know i love my lists. in honor of turning 20 three days ago, here’s some sort of list of things i’ve learned about myself and the world (not in any particular order or by any ranking of importance).

the album I listened to while writing this: Hail To the Thief - Radiohead

stream of consciousness about the inevitability of me turning 20, my love of Twenty-One Pilots, and whatever else.

songs I listened to while writing: Bandito - Twenty-One Pilots, A Soul With No King - AURORA

your girl is going through it just a bit! a stream of consciousness type beat while i rant about feeling unmotivated in life.

the songs i listened to while writing are in this playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4dcYwRtRUIdgfMIXUxURAc?si=9b760b5554d24d38

a collection of 9 poems i have written from 2024-2025. some of them are not as good as others, but its fun to see the progress when comparing the timeframes.

i’ve been writing poetry for 7 years, so perhaps this is the start of my book. who knows!

i wrote about my experience of missing who you used to be but not the trauma that came with it. no beta we die like my sleep schedule.

the song i listened to while i wrote this: gilded lily - cults

the show i was watching that inspired me to write this: heartstopper season 3. you know the episode.

slight TWs for implied/references to SH

i’ve been in Sweden for almost 3 weeks and i think i’m depressed. anyways ilya rozanov this one is for you bbg.

an ongoing list of my top 5 and top 10 favorite things. i love lists.

a collection of thoughts i had recently about being completely obsessive over something. (i just watched connor storrie on the ‘shut up evan’ podcast and spiraled) this is completely beta and has more run-on sentences than fingers on my hands, but hey, i never said my writing was good.

a short story i wrote around christmas time for a creative writing class. cue the sickly nostalgia.

another story i wrote for a creative fiction class.

TW// Mentions of Suicide, Self Harm, & Abuse. Take care of yourselves!

a short story i wrote for class during my first semester at university. i have a major hyper fixation on liminal spaces and the backrooms, so this was my take on it.